October bout against Montreal Sexpos

The Jersey Shore Roller Girls All-Stars welcomed the Montreal Sexpos to a nearly packed house, the large-scale venue of Asbury Park’s Convention Hall. Fans witnessed a rout on Oct. 3, with the All-Stars holding back the Sexpos 137 to 65.


Throughout the evening the Sexpos, the Montreal Roller Girls B-team, grappled to get by formidable walls of JSRG blockers, or faced big hitters in the back of the pack, to find themselves earning zero points in many jams during the first period.


In contrast, the All-Stars jammers earned grand slams and lead jammer status while Sexpos blockers struggled to land hits on speedsters like Chelle Be Evil, Push Popp and Morguetisha “M8T” Adams. Montreal brought a roster of 10 for their 8-hour drive to Asbury Park, while JSRG enjoyed a full roster of 14 at home.


In spite of these obstacles, the Sexpos played a top-notch game that showed the versatility of players like Nameless Whorror, Karla Shnikov and Nut So Virgin Mary, who blocked or jammed all night and never seemed to tire.


However, the evening’s first jam was an indication of how the entire night would go: M8T earns lead jammer after lots of spills throughout the pack from blocking by both teams. With two Sexpos now in the penalty box, Sexpos jammer Beats Per Minute struggles to get through the pack and finds M8T has already caught up to the pack to earn a grand slam. JSRG’s Tam El Toe Stomper lands a big hit on Beats Per Minute, helping M8T to earn more points. An exciting first jam ends with 10 points for JSRG and a goose egg for the Sexpos.


The second jam would find each team’s most successful jammers facing off: JSRG’s Chelle Be Evil versus Sexpos’ Nameless Whorror.


Chelle Be was the night’s big scorer, earning 13 points on her first jam, thanks to her speed and her blockers’ defense. JSRG’s Malicious Megs throws a big shoulder into Nameless Whorror to stop her from earning more than 4 points in this jam.


After the third jam, which saw JSRG’s Push Popp up against Sexpos’ AK-47, JSRG was already ahead 28 to 4. The lead would grow significantly throughout the first half: it was 44 to 12, ten minutes into the game. The Sexpos would call a time out with 18:38 left in the first half to discuss strategy, and their blockers came back to land immense hip checks on JSRG. As a result, the Sexpos finally earn 2 points after several scoreless jams.


Later in the first half, Push Popp is called on a back block penalty, removing some obstacles for the Sexpos’ AK-47 to rack up points for the visiting team. The same jam sends Cool Mo T and Hot Rod Hussy to the box, earning majors for hitting out of play. With a full penalty box, the Sexpos gain an obvious track advantage during this two-minute jam, allowing them to earn more points as Push Popp rejoins the jam. But the score is 81 to 28 at this point.


Down two blockers for the next jam, M8T is stuck behind a big wall of Gale Storm and Trash N Smash from the Sexpos, giving Beats Per Minute lead jammer status, the first of the evening for the hard-working Sexpos. Unfortunately, as M8T catches up, Beats calls the jam off before either can score points.


As the first period ends, it’s JSRG 89 to Sexpos 34.


During the second half, JSRG adds Nonster and Ciri L. Killer into their mix of jammers.


Nonster and Nameless Whorror take the line for the first jam of the half, and despite blockers like Hot Rod Hussy and Shermaine Tank making life miserable for the Sexpos, Nameless Whorror manages to bash her way through the pack and earn lead jammer, but calls it off, seeing that Nonster is about to catch up. It’s a zero point jam.


The next jams see less scoring by JSRG, who fail to earn the double-digit scores like they did in jams during the first period. They are, however, still scoring, but so are the Expos. There’s jams where each team earn five points, then each earn four, and the score is 102 to 44 at 23:30 left in the second half.


Each team creeps forward earning a few points each in the subsequent jams, until Push Popp faces Beats Per Minute as the score is 112 to 48. Montreal blockers sandwich Push Popp and after back blocking into a Montreal wall of blockers, she’s sent to the box. Beats Per Minute adds those penalty box ghost points to earn massive points, scoring 9, after AK47 takes out JSRG Shermaine Tank and AC Skater. It’s now 112 to 57.


The next jam sees Montreal’s Ninja Simone jamming against Chelle Be Evil, as the pair booty and shoulder block each other to get through the pack. The jammer on jammer action continues with Ninja earning lead jammer before calling it off to keep the jam scoreless.


So is the next jam, as AK-47 takes a beating from both Hot Rod Hussy and Psychopath Lynn and lead jammer M8T calls it off before scoring. In the next, Chelle Be earns a grand slam for JSRG while Beats Per Minute is stuck behind Tam El Toe Stomper, and now it’s 120 to 57.


With 6:30 left in the half, each team continues to inch forward in the evening’s remaining jams. The last jam of the evening is Ciri L. Killer, celebrating her birthday tonight. The birthday girl slips through the pack, even after seeing her teammates crash and earn some penalties. In spite of this, she laps the pack and Montreal can’t seem to get through. Ciri earns 8 and Beats Per Minute earns zero, and the final is 137 to 65.


For more information on Jersey Shore Roller Girl bouts, visit www.jerseyshorerollergirls.net